"As you can probably guess, Agent X is not the best at keeping secrets. Speaking of which, let’s get to the

"When I heard this issue was going to be about some mumbo jumbo called iBuyers, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. They’re apparently not a thing in Chicago yet, so you shouldn’t be embarrassed if you don’t know

"Representing which party, you may be wondering? Well, that’s the tricky part. Like the lovely ladies of the Real Housewives of any city, I prefer not to reveal my political affiliations. Which I guess would make it difficult for me

"Non-traditional will be on my headstone and atypical is my middle name, so this is right up my alley! Say goodbye to those cookie-cutter deals, because those are a thing of the

"Now that I’ve revealed some of my secret association memberships (there are a few more I am not allowed to mention; one of them sounds a lot like Lou Malnati…) let’s get on to the important gossip of the

"A friend told me just this morning that he spotted pumpkin spice beverages at our local Dunkin’ Donuts. People, it’s August, which is way too early for pumpkins. And don’t even get me started on all these Halloween decorations rearing

Go impress your friends, and the rest of the team you work with, by spewing inspiring

"I totally could’ve been an auctioneer. It’s hard to tell from typing, but I am skilled at speaking really, really fast. Basically, it’s because I have a lot to say at all times, which should come as no

"I’ve been waiting to use that headline for years, and now I have an excuse. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that many of you young whippersnappers have no idea what it means. No matter! All you need to know

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