Ta-Ta 2014

by Agent X


The year is coming to a close, and it’s time to wrap up 2014 with a big, fat bow and stow it under the tree or next to the menorah and start looking forward to 2015. I’ll miss you over the holidays, fair readers, but have no fear that I will be back in January, as I have tricked the head honchos at CA into signing me to a 10-year contract. Love me or hate me, you’re going to be seeing a lot of me around. During the break, I’ll be headed off to my private island, but continue to send me emails with all of the best gossip! No agent worth his/her salt would go anywhere without Internet access, so I’ll be checking in regularly on the beach.

You guys, Santa may be squatting in a house that’s on the market in Barrington! Can you believe it? Michael LaFido actually found evidence of Santa’s visit, and it seems pretty legit. So please, please go watch this video: www.santasmansion.com. Look, it may be a goofy idea, and laughter may have caused champagne to come out of my nose, but LaFido managed to get some free press because we’re talking about it. Kudos for the creativity.

A few weeks ago I mentioned a certain hockey player was looking for a home in Lincoln Park (twist my arm – it’s Jonathan Toews). Turns out, he found the home of his icicle dreams and will soon be moving in near his buddy Joakim Noah  – as I predicted! I’m not sure why he didn’t call me to help him find a new bachelor pad (my phone ran out of batteries for one hour and I’m guessing that’s when Jonny T tried to reach me), but the agent who nailed that deal (who is sworn to secrecy) is going to have some pretty happy holidays this year.

Did everyone see Emily Sachs Wong’s recommendation on Facebook to go get a flu shot? You should really listen, because word on the street is she had a nasty case of the flu, which caused her to faint. Unfortunately, she face-planted and broke her nose and needs surgery! If you haven’t already gotten that shot, do it now. As soon as I heard the news, I called up my private doctor and had it done, STAT.

There were a ton of holiday parties this month, and I made an appearance at as many as I could. Of course, I needed to change outfits before each party so that my party pics aren’t repetitive, but that makes it difficult to attend every single one, especially because I get about 200 invites a season. It’s also rude not to partake in the festivities with a cocktail or two, which makes it that much harder to remember who wore what and when, and who threw up on who and made out with what.  

Before the holiday season of parties officially kicked off, I hightailed it to Naperville to check out the grand opening of Homebridge Financial Services with host Steve Stapleton. After that, things got a little hazy.

Here’s the rundown of the haps around Chicago this holiday season. BHHS had a slamming shindig at Cantina Laredo on either Dec. 2 or Dec. 3 (told you, too many cocktails). Hunter’s Fairway Sotheby’s International Realty held a holiday open house Dec. 3 and Dec. 4 in North Barrington, and  Guaranteed Rate kicked off the season with their creatively named GR-Palooza on Dec. 4, the same day that I had to run across town to AAREA’s holiday party at the GE Monogram showroom. Urban Real Estate held their holiday party on Dec. 5 at the lovely Tavern at the Park, which I attended right before two-stepping it over to the modern wing at the Art Institute for the @properties holiday party. Belgravia made things easier on me by having a holiday lunch on Dec. 9, where guests enjoyed some Merriment on Montana. NAHREP hosted a holiday boat cruise on Dec. 10, and I’m just going to come right out and say I didn’t make it because I don’t do boats in the cold. I had to skip from WCR West Suburban Council installation over to WCR North Shore’s installation, and then back to the city for G-Rate’s second holiday party on Dec. 11 at the House of Blues, and now I have a short break before the WCR installation on Dec. 18 at Venue One. Whew, did you get all that? There are about 45 more parties that I attended, but they asked me to keep it hush hush due to the exclusivity of the invite, meaning you probably didn’t get one and I did.

I’ve had a lot to share this week, so I’ll keep the birthdays nice and short: Barbara O’Connor and Kelly Maguire fit in their own birthday celebrations on Dec. 8, Mike Bauknecht will party on Dec. 16, Jeff Metz on December 27 and Joann Sworan and Lisa Eppling barely missed a New Years’ Eve b-day with their shared happy day on Dec. 29.

  Happy holidays, everyone! I’ll gossip with you next year!

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