Agent X: Appraise This!

by Agent X


Any real estate agent worth their salt in this city knows that the appraisal can make or break a deal. Now that the industry is no longer falling into a deep, dark hole, this is less of a biggie. However, you’re still going to want to wait for those results before celebrating the sale of a multi-million dollar property. Yes, there is a story behind this sage advice, but it’s too painful for me to share. Let’s just say I’ve learned my lesson, and I now befriend as many appraisers as I can.

Recently, I took a gander at a real estate appraiser forum to grab some ideas for my column, and I found some jokes that may or may not make you squirt vodka out your nose with laughter. It’s a slow week for gossip, so humor me on this one – and for those of you who are surprised that I do research, take your eye rolls elsewhere! As long as it takes less than five minutes, I’m happy to round up some titillating background info for my loyal readers. Here’s my favorite “joke” from the list: “The roundest knight at King Arthur’s roundtable was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.” Appraiser readers: Let me know if this is an accurate representation of appraisal humor.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s the stuff you came for! Moira Kasmale has resigned from Baird & Warner to be a full-time mom. I think it’s illegal for me to comment on this in any way, shape or form, so I’m just going to say “you go girl!” and move on.

In case you haven’t been blinded by the rock on her finger yet, Barbara (Babs, Barbie, Bobbie, Babalamabannana) Matthopolous is engaged! I haven’t heard any details on a date just yet, but I expect an invite to the industry wedding of the decade to arrive in the mail soon. I’ll keep you posted as the details unfold.

Related Midwest hosted a swank-tastic party at the Park Hyatt Chicago as an expensive thank you note to all of the agents who did deals at South Loop Luxury. Industry MVPs were also spotted in the rafters. The best party swag I’ve seen in a while included a bottle of Koval bourbon and two Tiffany rock glasses for serving that luscious liquor.

Coming up on April 23 is an opportunity to do some charity work and cleanse yourself of all the winter debauchery, now that spring has arrived. Real Estate Professionals for a Cause is hosting a fundraiser to benefit Brides Against Breast Cancer at the World of Beer. Tickets are available at the door, which will buy you some gourmet apps, three “adult” beverages and some networking.

Lots of April birthdays to celebrate! Judy Logue Gibbons (to my knowledge no relation to Leeza Gibbons) will celebrate on April 18. Then, on April 19, our easy-on-the-eyes friend David Wolf will be celebrating his day of birth. On April 20, Tommy Choi will be celebrating his birthday. If you take away the “i” in his last name and an “ng” you get Tommy Chong, who celebrates 4/20 for a whole different reason. Monica Canellis may eat cannolis on April 26, while Stephen “his last name is impossible to spell” Hnatow will party on the 27th. Apparently, no one wants to share a birthday in April, because Tim Brigham is on the 28th, Steve McEwan gets a birthday wish on the 29th and Marty Winefield will sip some birthday wine on April 30.

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