I’ve been waxing poetic about luxury in these pages for a number of years now, and it never gets old. From opulent imported marble kitchens to practical basement bowling alleys and solid gold bathtubs, there’s no such thing as over the top. Here in the Midwest, we’re a little tamer with our splendor, but we are still happy to spend lots of money on ridiculous features (who doesn’t need a million-dollar chandelier in the master bath?). So grab your Dom Pérignon and settle into that gold bathtub with this magazine and enjoy the magnificence.

Tommy Choi and Josh Weinberg are business partners, BFFs and birthday buddies! The two of them share a 4/20 birthday (which some of you may know is a special day for other reasons… it’s two days before National Jelly Bean Day!). This year, Tommy’s gift was a shoutout from T.J. Lavin. My loyal assistant informed me that this fellow is the host of MTV’s “The Challenge” and also used to compete riding BMX bikes. I also had a BMX bike when I was just a little tyke, but as you can imagine, I rode it in the privacy of my driveway rather than racing around competitively.

Never forget where you came from. Dan Kieres shared a throwback, black-and-white portrait of himself sporting buck teeth and some giant glasses. A far cry from the handsome devil we all know and love today, but it’s important to remember your roots. That being said, please know that you’ll never be seeing a picture of Agent X pre-braces and contacts, thank you very much.

Nadiia Pavlyk is about to get married in, like, five hours from the moment I finish my column. She decided to allow her Insta followers to watch her wedding via Zoom, and you know Agent X would never miss the opportunity to enjoy a wedding. Despite all of her busy wedding planning, she still somehow managed to close a bunch of deals this week, as well. Congrats, Nadiia!
With everyone a bit Zoomed out and the onset of Chicago’s third winter, I didn’t attend many events recently. The weather is starting to look up again, so when that happens I will emerge from my cocoon and crash a few socially distanced events.

Wearing my mask makes it even easier to hide my identity, and you know every mask I have is more stylish than the last.
Let’s hit up some springy birthday shoutouts! Frank Quintero and Susie Pearson share a May 4 bday, while Nykea Pippion McGriff will party on May 6 and Sam Powell gets older on May 7. Danielle Dowell and Eve Benton should schedule a joint Zoom party on May 9, and maybe think about allowing Katherine Sather to join, since her bday is May 10. May 12 is a pretty big day, with Mimi Harpur, Brett Decker, Jonathan McCulloch and Aviva Parker all getting wiser. Doug Horwich will be happy to hear that his May 13 bday falls on a Thursday, as Friday goes to Carrie McCormick on May 14. Shelly Cellak has a lone birthday but certainly won’t celebrate alone on May 19, and thankfully Glen Tomlinson and Jim Chittaro can share their May 20 bday. Jamie Franz, Amir Syed, Juany Honeycutt and John Ristau should all celebrate together, as they will each get more distinguished on the 21st, 22nd, 23rd, and 24th, respectively. Karen Ranquist rounds out the month with a May 28 birthday, so let’s dip into June with Matt Wasik on June 4. Thad Wong and Michael Pierson share a June 5 birthday, and then I saved the best for last, with Amanda McMillan Dollinger on June 6.